Thursday, December 16, 2010

Little Girl Lost

Check out this story called 7 going on 27. I read it with sadness but not much surprise.

When I was a kid, there were no 7 year olds in Vougue, and I didn't even know what Vougue was. My shirts had puffy paint on them and I wore purple corduroys. The problem I have with parents letting their kids dress as adults is that it starts them thinking and acting like adults way too early. Why do we feel the need to make 7 year old girls look like they are grown up? What is the motivation behind it? This article is probably one of the tamest I have read on the subject but it got me thinking about the messages kids are receiving.

It is the same thing with child beauty pageants. It really creeps me out when I see little babies paraded around in heels and a pound of makeup. What are we doing to our girls when at that young age they are already being told they are not pretty enough to win, or they need to be perfect to be accepted? These girls have plenty of time to have adult experiences, why subject them to it earlier than need be?

I know I am offering up a lot of questions with no answers. I believe it is the parents responsibility to teach their children about self esteem and to dress them age appropriately, but at the same time I understand the difficulties when they see these clothes being marketed towards them or their friends wear them.
I believe a lot of it comes from the role models of young girls as well. When all you have to look up to is Lindsey Lohan who is in rehab or Miley "Hannah Montana" Cyrus taking bong hits, where can young girls turn for a positive example?
Unfortunately, as long as people buy the clothes and buy into the culture, this will continue. Show your daughters how to be a beautiful person on the outside, how clothes do not make the woman, and how your actions speak louder than words. Show her that she does not have to sexualize her body to get attention, that she can be whatever she wants to be, and to listen to what her heart tells her and not to the media.

Please let me know what you think about this topic.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Makeup-less Monday!

I have to do this today because I am going out of town for a week and will not be available to update. This week's makeup-less Monday is brought to you by the beautiful Crystal. She wrote something to go with her picture, and I just had to include it. It really brought tears to my eyes.

I came across "Makeup less Mondays" on facebook, and it intrigued me. I loved the concept of it! Being a larger person by others standards has always been hard.  When I was younger, I used to wear a lot of makeup to try and disguise my larger shape.  I felt that if people saw my beautiful face, heavy with makeup, that they wouldn’t see my ugly fat body.

As I got older, I was more comfortable not wearing much makeup or none at all.  I learnt to love myself as a "WHOLE".  I remember the first day I began to love myself without makeup. I was getting dressed in the morning and I just glanced in the mirror, I didn’t see a disgusting fat girl, what I saw was a beautiful young woman with so much potential.  In fact, I didn’t even notice any flaws in my body, I just saw me!

I truly believe that if people look at themselves in the mirror without any negativity they would be astonished with the natural beauty they see, however, as I learnt you have to truly know yourself, love yourself from the inside out.  Forget what the media says is beautiful, because in my eyes, everyone including myself is absolutely exquisite!

Friday, November 19, 2010

30

I am turning 30 next week. I am actually surprised at how excited I am. Don't get me wrong, 29 was a bitch of a birthday. I was depressed for a whole year. I couldn't figure it out, because I thought 30 would be the bad one. Leading up to 29 I could not stop thinking about getting older, life and death, mortality. Granted, a close friend of my family was terminally ill, and that may have added to the questioning but it was just a bad year overall.
Now turning 30 is the opposite. I feel light and excited. I think 29 was a mourning year for the passing of my 20's. It was ok to be sad, because that person I was is gone. This new person emerging is older and wiser. She does not hold all the answers, but she has a better understanding of life.
30 is a new beginning, a chance to change things or leave them the way they are. To try something new, to explore who I am and to relish in what I have done. Yes, there will be wrinkles and grey hairs that mark the milestones, but they will remind me of what my life has been. I cannot wait to meet the person I am becoming.
30 is going to be a great decade!

Monday, November 15, 2010

Makeup-less Monday!

Makeup-less Monday is upon us once again, and once again I am bailing on being the star of this post. My sister in law sent a picture as well as a wonderful write up that I want to share as well. So here is Julia:


I'm also "one of those women" that are constantly criticizing themselves. I once did a personality test based on Oriental Wisdom teachings and I was sad (but not surprised) to see that my results were: "I MUST be good and perfect to be happy". This was a few years ago but it was so painfully accurate that I still can't shake it off my head. It is a concept that I struggle with in every aspect of my life. I find it pitiful when people self-proclaim themselves as "perfectionists", as if it was something to be proud of. I am a perfectionist, and I'm ashamed to admit it. Unfortunately, being a perfectionists has always been one of my most "admirable" qualities... and that is precisely why breaking the cycle has become so hard. The truth is the more I seek perfection the more imperfect I become.
But I have made a discovery. While going through my pictures to find one to send you I realized that the pictures in which I am not wearing makeup are also the ones in which I look the most spontaneous and my smile the most genuine. I've come to realize that this "makeup-less" pictures are possibly my favourite. And that's why I am sending you my photo for the Makeup-less Mondays. True happiness doesn't need foundation.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

The Beauty of Aging

I asked my good blogger friend Miruspeg to do a guest post for me. I think she is so wonderful, and she always has such great insights into life. Please enjoy, then check out her blog of wisdom at Middle Age Ramblings. Thank you Pegs for doing me the honour!


I have been asked to give my thoughts on beauty, aging and becoming comfortable in my own skin.

I feel very lucky and blessed – no I really do!!! I will be 58 in a few weeks yet I don’t “feel” old and even though my face and body have lost much of it’s elasticity I still “feel” the same on the inside as I did when I was in my 20’s.

At nearly 58 years of age, I can say that I am a much more confident woman than I was even ten years ago. While I don’t necessarily exude self confidence in every situation and every moment, I am finally comfortable in my own skin. I definitely was not comfortable in my 20’s or 30’s. I guess the journey began in my 40’s.
I think that aging is incredible and I hope that someday as a culture we will grow to understand this a little more. It seems that all the messages in the media are about the glorification of youth. It’s all about how to look younger, how to chase our youth. Hardly anyone is talking about the beauty of aging. No one is talking about what a gift it is to allow ourselves to be right where we are supposed to be.
Another fortunate aspect of my life is I am a traveller so I get to wander the world meeting all different, amazing, delightful people. The definition of beauty does definitely vary from culture-to-culture, ethnicity-to-ethnicity. For example, in many African tribes, women of larger proportions are viewed as more attractive than a woman who would be considered normal or underweight in our societies.
Beauty is subjective. Physical beauty is one thing, but you know the saying: “Ugly is to the bone”. I have met many beautiful people, until they open their mouth! I hope one day western society evolves past the looks part and want much more than that. Real beauty is far beyond the beauty that we see physically, it's from within.
Beauty on the outside can be taken away in an instant...skin cancer, fire, car accident....our character and personality stay with us our whole life. So lets all concentrate on making ourselves shine on the inside!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

The following is a pretty powerful video sent to me by my friend at Constantly Evolving. I got goosebumps when I watched it. Please take a listen.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Makeup-less Monday!

Here is the first installment of Makeup-less Mondays. I was going to start the week with myself, but I had one brave soul who sent me her picture first.

Caroline from Constantly Evolving

Please check out Caroline's blog. You will see that she is a beautiful and amazing person, inside and out. Tune in next week for another installment! Please send all submissions to sheisbecomingbeautiful@gmail.com

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Wabi Sabi - The art of Imperfection

I first heard about Wabi Sabi a few weeks ago while perusing one of my wellness magazines. A simple translation of what it means from Wikipedia:

Wabi-sabi represents a comprehensive Japanese world view or aesthetic centered on the acceptance of transience. The aesthetic is sometimes described as one of beauty that is "imperfect, impermanent and incomplete". It is a concept derived from the Buddhist assertion of the Three marks of existence, specifically impermanence.
Characteristics of the wabi-sabi aesthetic include asymmetry, asperity, simplicity, modesty, intimacy and the suggestion of natural processes.

I look at my favourite mug, and I see wabi sabi. It is chipped and cracked and the logo is peeling off, but it is that way because I have used it so many times. It is the favourite pair of jeans that will someday fall into rags. The flower that lost a petal in a strong wind. It is the lines on your face. The crooked tooth. The grey streak in your hair.

Why is it so difficult to accept transience in our life? Everything since birth is changing and we can't stop it. Aging is just one more thing. Losing youth is one more impermanent fact of life. It is also incomplete, in that it is one small stage of our existence. When we accept that change is inevitable and everything is impermanent, we can become liberated. We no longer need to hang on to the physical trappings of this world.

As much as aging scares the hell out of me, I also look forward to getting older. I fear the lost youth but I am excited for the gained wisdom. It is a trade off.

Can you see wabi sabi in you? Your perfect imperfection? Can you see how it makes you unique? How your flaws make you beautiful?

If you will, write a list of your perceived flaws, and think about how they make you different/unique/special. Find the beauty in them, the wabi sabi.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Wanted:

Brave and courageous women willing to submit a head shot with...dum dum dum...NO MAKEUP! I would like to start a feature called Makeup-less Mondays, as a tribute to natural beauty. It can be any style you want but must feature most of your face, must be make up free and NO PHOTOSHOP!

This coming Monday I will be the first to take the plunge. This will be hard for me, as I am one of those women who cannot leave the house without at least some foundation on. Hey, I may run a blog about beauty myths but I am on this journey with you!

I would love it if you would share this blog with your women friends, submit a story and send me those au naturel photos. Don't be scared!

Submissions can be sent to:

sheisbecomingbeautiful@gmail.com

Words and Inner Beauty

We all know the rhyme:

Sticks and stones may break my bones,
but words will never hurt me.

What a crock. Words can be some of the most hurtful weapons out there. I was listening to conversations all week, and what I heard shocked me. The amount of times people put themselves or others down is insane! What was even more insane was that I had to actually pay attention to notice how much it actually happens. It happens in casual conversation, in the comment boards of news sites, on Facebook, even in private.

It all reminded me of a book I read, called "The Healing Power of Water".  The author performs experiments where he attaches positive statements such as "gratitude" or "love" to water, and examines the frozen crystals. The results are beautiful, perfect water crystals. When he attaches negative phrases, such as "hate" or "kill", the crystals come out deformed and discoloured.

Now whether you believe in the science behind these experiments or not is beside the point. The key message here is that words have the power to transform. They can turn you into something brilliant and beautiful, or into something ugly and dark. And it has nothing to do with physical appearance. How many times do you look in the mirror and think about all the things that are wrong with you? On the other hand, how many times do you look at someone else and think about all the things that are wrong with them? These thoughts can affect us in ways we can't even imagine.

I have been guilty of saying or thinking some downright nasty thoughts about people. Do you know what always happens? I feel bad and nasty about myself! Those thoughts manifest in me. Now when I think or say nice things to someone else, I feel good. The math of it is quite simple. This is all a part of inner beauty. What you feel, think and say is a reflection of your insides, your soul, your heart. This will eventually work it's way to the outside, by your actions and deeds.

No one, not even physically beautiful people can hide inner ugliness forever. You can admire physical beauty all you want but it becomes meaningless if the minute the person opens their mouth and nothing but hatefulness comes out. Think about a time when you have been around someone really negative. Who cares what they look like! It brings you down and you just want to get away. Now think about someone who makes you laugh so hard your stomach hurts. Do you care that they have a huge zit in the middle of their forehead, or that they are carrying an extra ten pounds? No, you are caught in their light, the beauty of their inner spirit. Do you see how little physical appearance has to do with day to day connections?

Choose the path of inner beauty. It can transform your world.

Monday, November 1, 2010

The Photoshop lie


I love this commercial because it pretty much sums up the culture of beauty in society today. There is very little reality out there when you look at a billboard or a magazine cover. We are shown these airbrushed flawless images every day and we are told that is what beauty is. But that beauty does not exist. It is a fabrication created on a computer screen. The final product does not even look like the real person anymore. It is a lie. That isn't to say there are not drop dead gorgeous people out there who do not need the aid of photoshop. Of course there are, but even when they make the cover of a magazine, it is never as is. Keep this in mind the next time you are holding yourself up next to a cover model on a magazine. You are comparing yourself to something that never really existed in the first place.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

What is Beautiful?

I began this blog after several conversations with friends, after reading so many articles where women talk about how badly they feel about themselves, how ugly they feel. This really shocked me, because when I look at a person I always find something beautiful about them. It really hurt to hear that little girls as young as eight years old are suffering from anorexia, or that teenagers are getting plastic surgery.

These things, among others, got me thinking, "why do women hate themselves so much? What is beautiful?"

A lot of what society pumps out in the media is not beautiful to me, yet it is the standard to which today's women are held to. So what is true beauty? Who defines it? That is what I want to explore with this blog, as well as providing a place for women to discuss the issues they face with self esteem and body image, and hopefully a place to show women that beauty is changing and fickle. Together, we can find our own beautiful and embrace it.